Tail Hand Hound
Low Maintenance Pooch

The perfect pets for snigs on the go, Tail Hand Hounds are self-walking, self-disciplining dogs with a strict but caring five-fingered wagger.

"I just love my pet what's-his-name," remarks Tail Hand Hound owner, Chince Numbyuppie. "With my demanding job and active 'downtown' lifestyle, I seldom have the time or energy to waste on loving a pet. That's why Tail Hand Hound is perfect for me. There's basically no interaction... come to think of it, I haven't seen the little guy in months. Or is it little girl? Whatever the case, that self-care canine was a choice move for me — and that's what pet ownership is all about."

Snicks Chicken

Plan on stocking your egg farm with Snicks Chickens? Well, pardner, you'd best be racin' toward that government subsidy quicker than a gunload of buckshot chasin' down a henhouse fox.

Snicks Chickens are hideous little birds possessing few of the traits of the common chicken — including the ability to lay eggs. Most noticeably, these pudgy poultry are completely beakless. Instead they are equipped with a disgusting pucker mouth that continually purses and releases, making a hissy "Snick" sound.

Windsniffer versus
the Sourest Gust

If you thought he reached his sniff-limits in last year's bout against the "Breeze of the Bitter Whiff", you won't believe how Windsniffer's nose power is tested in his battle to champion this year's olfactory opponent, "The Sourest Gust".

"I was certain he'd pass out in round 5," remarked spectator, Rimms Bizzby. "The Sourest Gust flew in with a cross-nostril assault that totally took Windsniffer off guard. I think the tartness really jammed up his nasal radar. I don't want to give away the ending, but let me just say that I can breath a lot easier now that the fight is over."

Purple Wormcharmer

The Purple Wormcharmer is a clever little bird with a fascinating feeding method.

Once a suitable spot is found, this angling avian inserts its razor sharp beak into the dirt and sends forth worm luring vibrations by wiggling its tongue. Said worms are sedated by the massaging mini-quakes as they are hypnotically tempted beak-ward by the lovely dance of the fuax-worm tongue.

Old Poabs

Old Poabs is too weak to work and too slow to keep up. Nevertheless, Poab's pensive pose and pouty presence persuade enough pity to procure anything this wrinkly walker-wielder might require.

Said "requirements" amount to nothing more than a ride to the market and a share of the bingo winnings but that's pretty much all you need when you're an old codger like Poabs.

Yo-Yo Cobra

It may look like something from the prank aisle of your local toy store but beware, the Yo-Yo Cobra is a testy, quick-to-anger creature with a toxic surprise. Those colorful yo-yos are extremely poisonous.

One "walk the dog" or "around the world" from this hand-headed slitherer can pack enough punch to paralyze a whole herd of bumblehorn steer.